today was ok, my brain was just working 2000 mph until my head hurt, its like i could hear every single thought going on in my head, i know how my brain works, if i hold on to a certain image or idea in my head, i start to obsess over it until im drained, until my head hurts.for example, recently ive been feeling like im not a person, like im a zombie or something, then i feel like i cant relate to people, then i start giving off this vibe to people and it repels them and makes them think less of me (mindreading) like my normal way how i think just been corrupted, like everytime i get into these moods, or phases, my persona changes, and i just cant talk or act like myself, i just shutdown, from life, and i hate it, i feel sad, depressed, and miserable. sometimes i feel as though people can hear my thoughts or something,  i feel as if nobody understands me, and half the time, i dont understand myself, i get into these relationships and i feel as though the person just wants to play with my emotions, and watch me fall, i just knew this was going to happen to me when i moved off campus, i dont deal with change very well, at all, nobody knows what i go thru, on the outside it might look A OK,and my parents expect me to be fine and dandy but inside im dying, dying to express, dying to love, dying to be myself, dying for acceptance, dying from fear..sometimes i dont want to live life…its too hard..its killing me and nobody sees it…

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